Today is the first day I have felt that I could share what God is doing in my life. Fear of failure and fear of disappointing others as well as myself has so many times held me back and kept me from doing what I have always known was best for me in many aspects of my life. I have struggled with pride and with discipline......or a lack thereof. I do believe that God has led me and used me despite myself, but now I am ready to do it HIS way, not my own.
So, over the last few months of desperately asking God to help me.......I have finally listened and He has led! As most of you who see me on fb may have noticed, I have been setting my feet to the pavement and started walking again! I want to take you back to 21 years ago. 21 years ago I had one of the greatest blessings in my life, Chelsea was born and completed our beautiful family! With our first two children I was able to loose most of my weight, but when I had Chelsea, I just managed to gain weight. My weight kept going up and up. Over the last 21 years I have lost the same 20 pounds over and over and over again because each time I lost......I ended up gaining back more. This past year I was going to try my best to loose weight for the wedding of Chelsea and Christian.........and I managed to gain to my highest weight ever. How could I keep failing over and over again? Why was it that when I would exercise my tail off and loose some weight I would be so exhausted that I could not keep up? When you exercise and loose weight you are supposed to gain energy.........gain strength........and yet, I would be more exhausted than ever before. After seeing myself in the Wedding pictures all I felt was that I was an embarrassment to my family. I know that I am not, but that is how I felt. I would sit and watch the extreme weight loss show and wonder why I could not do what they were doing? I would be inspired.....start......and fail. Over and over again. I would beg God to help me.......and then fail. I wanted to do programs that others were doing but because of gluten or artificial sweeteners......I could not. Then, God sent me a friend who was trying to help me with Devon and helping him with his issues. Kathy Barden messaged me and told me what she was doing to help with her family. Little did I know that very soon I would meet someone who understood the problems I was having and she shared her struggle with energy issues and health problems. There were so many parallels! For many years I have studied and looked into natural ways of getting help, but I was to afraid to delve in and fail. Ruth Hardy, through sharing her testimony gave me hope that I could find the help I needed! That night I became a member of the doTerra family. I am not writing this in any way to try and build a business......I am writing this because for the first time in 21 years I have hope......I have energy.....I have my answer that God placed so tenderly in my lap! When Ruth started her journey it actually started with a supplement package that the company sells. I have tried so many before.......to no avail. Others were helped, but not me. Great products have passed my way but for whatever reason they were not all that my body needed. I have to tell you, I had my doubts, but by golly......I had to try. Three months ago I started taking these supplements. At the time I started taking them, I had some blood work and it was not promising at all. My cholesterol was high as well as my A1C. I started taking them slowly to build up and some days I would forget to take them. Although I did not feel like I was progressing at times......when I did not take them, I found out they were working better than I knew they were because I would be dragging! I started getting more and more energy, but nothing huge yet. I went to the Dr. for more bloodwork and although not all was great, the Dr. looked at me and asked, "Did I put you on Cholesterol Medicine?" I just laughed and said, well no you did not, but here is what I have been doing! This was three weeks ago. I had already given up all drinks but water or hot tea with no sugar........and all refined sugar, but my A1C was needing to be delt with. I started working with our Care Here clinic through Walton EMC to get more help. I now am working with a Nurse, Dietitian and Exercise consultant over the phone to hold me accountable. Now I have to get real......I hate it with every ounce of my being! I have cried more tears because it HURTS dying to self! It HURTS being honest about every bite you place in your mouth! It HURTS knowing that what once gave you comfort is now a part of your past......even though what was giving you comfort was killing you slowly. My life and my identity has been my ability to bring others joy through what brought me comfort, and now my comfort is gone. BUT GOD! Last Saturday God gave me a beautiful opportunity to walk in a 5k to support and honor my daughter-in-law, Tammy Stacy. It was a walk to raise money and awareness for Melanoma Cancer. When I signed up for this walk I had no idea the journey God was going to have me on at this time. I was so ready to fail because I was afraid I was going to be the last person crossing the line. Oh me of little faith. Over and over I kept telling people I was probably going to be the person coming in just before the ambulance. Three days before the race I walked my first mile in over a year. It actually went pretty good......and I was shocked. Race day came and the doubt set in again. Little did I know that on that day, God would place another special person in my path. It just so happened that Ray, a young man who grew up in our youth group, was there at the race too! Tammy and her mom are runners but I told them not to worry about me......I would be there eventually! Ray was so sweet and he walked with me and encouraged me the whole way.......as well as blocked the police lights by walking in front of me so vertigo would not set in. Let me just tell you, not only did I NOT come in last........I made it over the finish line in 1 hour and 44 seconds! Guess what......I was not dying! I had energy! I have not felt this.........EVER! I also invested in a fitbit which is a tool to count my steps and work on that competitive part of me........and it is working too! How could this be????? Two days ago, I found myself in trouble. Real hunger hit me and I was not prepared......and I felt I had failed. I ate too much because my body felt it was going to explode out of my skin. I was in tears mad at myself for failing. All I could see was that I had failed again. In steps another angel that God has given me for this process........she is my Nurse and her name is Susan. Our time to talk fell right as I was in Kroger buying food for dinner. Through tears I told her of my failure and you know what, she did not see me as a failure. I told her that even though I failed, I had worked hard to fail on healthier food. I had eaten a lower fat humus and organic healthier corn chips with sprouted amaranth, chia and something else.......plain yogurt with blueberries and almonds. With joy she said, "Lorri, you did not fail! You worked hard to lessen the impact of eating more than you were allotted! You did GREAT!" I have heard things like this over and over from others, but this day.......I finally saw myself as NOT A FAILURE! God has surrounded me with wonderfully encouraging husband, family and friends.......a wonderfully supportive Dr. and Nurse as health coaches.......incredible supplements that have not only given me energy, but for the first time in my life I am wanting to exercise......which also includes 300 swings a day with my kettle bell.......I finally hit 300 swings today! I feel good! I feel strong........and most of all, I feel loved by my Heavenly Father who did not give up on ME! He gave me what I needed in EVERY aspect of this journey! Today..........I finally knew that THIS TIME I WILL SUCCEED! I will be coming back here to the blog to give updates, which by the way.......I have now lost 18 pounds since the wedding.......only 114 to go! Below I am posting the picture of me at the wedding........next May......I am expecting a whole new look! I love you all and thank you for loving and supporting me!
So, over the last few months of desperately asking God to help me.......I have finally listened and He has led! As most of you who see me on fb may have noticed, I have been setting my feet to the pavement and started walking again! I want to take you back to 21 years ago. 21 years ago I had one of the greatest blessings in my life, Chelsea was born and completed our beautiful family! With our first two children I was able to loose most of my weight, but when I had Chelsea, I just managed to gain weight. My weight kept going up and up. Over the last 21 years I have lost the same 20 pounds over and over and over again because each time I lost......I ended up gaining back more. This past year I was going to try my best to loose weight for the wedding of Chelsea and Christian.........and I managed to gain to my highest weight ever. How could I keep failing over and over again? Why was it that when I would exercise my tail off and loose some weight I would be so exhausted that I could not keep up? When you exercise and loose weight you are supposed to gain energy.........gain strength........and yet, I would be more exhausted than ever before. After seeing myself in the Wedding pictures all I felt was that I was an embarrassment to my family. I know that I am not, but that is how I felt. I would sit and watch the extreme weight loss show and wonder why I could not do what they were doing? I would be inspired.....start......and fail. Over and over again. I would beg God to help me.......and then fail. I wanted to do programs that others were doing but because of gluten or artificial sweeteners......I could not. Then, God sent me a friend who was trying to help me with Devon and helping him with his issues. Kathy Barden messaged me and told me what she was doing to help with her family. Little did I know that very soon I would meet someone who understood the problems I was having and she shared her struggle with energy issues and health problems. There were so many parallels! For many years I have studied and looked into natural ways of getting help, but I was to afraid to delve in and fail. Ruth Hardy, through sharing her testimony gave me hope that I could find the help I needed! That night I became a member of the doTerra family. I am not writing this in any way to try and build a business......I am writing this because for the first time in 21 years I have hope......I have energy.....I have my answer that God placed so tenderly in my lap! When Ruth started her journey it actually started with a supplement package that the company sells. I have tried so many before.......to no avail. Others were helped, but not me. Great products have passed my way but for whatever reason they were not all that my body needed. I have to tell you, I had my doubts, but by golly......I had to try. Three months ago I started taking these supplements. At the time I started taking them, I had some blood work and it was not promising at all. My cholesterol was high as well as my A1C. I started taking them slowly to build up and some days I would forget to take them. Although I did not feel like I was progressing at times......when I did not take them, I found out they were working better than I knew they were because I would be dragging! I started getting more and more energy, but nothing huge yet. I went to the Dr. for more bloodwork and although not all was great, the Dr. looked at me and asked, "Did I put you on Cholesterol Medicine?" I just laughed and said, well no you did not, but here is what I have been doing! This was three weeks ago. I had already given up all drinks but water or hot tea with no sugar........and all refined sugar, but my A1C was needing to be delt with. I started working with our Care Here clinic through Walton EMC to get more help. I now am working with a Nurse, Dietitian and Exercise consultant over the phone to hold me accountable. Now I have to get real......I hate it with every ounce of my being! I have cried more tears because it HURTS dying to self! It HURTS being honest about every bite you place in your mouth! It HURTS knowing that what once gave you comfort is now a part of your past......even though what was giving you comfort was killing you slowly. My life and my identity has been my ability to bring others joy through what brought me comfort, and now my comfort is gone. BUT GOD! Last Saturday God gave me a beautiful opportunity to walk in a 5k to support and honor my daughter-in-law, Tammy Stacy. It was a walk to raise money and awareness for Melanoma Cancer. When I signed up for this walk I had no idea the journey God was going to have me on at this time. I was so ready to fail because I was afraid I was going to be the last person crossing the line. Oh me of little faith. Over and over I kept telling people I was probably going to be the person coming in just before the ambulance. Three days before the race I walked my first mile in over a year. It actually went pretty good......and I was shocked. Race day came and the doubt set in again. Little did I know that on that day, God would place another special person in my path. It just so happened that Ray, a young man who grew up in our youth group, was there at the race too! Tammy and her mom are runners but I told them not to worry about me......I would be there eventually! Ray was so sweet and he walked with me and encouraged me the whole way.......as well as blocked the police lights by walking in front of me so vertigo would not set in. Let me just tell you, not only did I NOT come in last........I made it over the finish line in 1 hour and 44 seconds! Guess what......I was not dying! I had energy! I have not felt this.........EVER! I also invested in a fitbit which is a tool to count my steps and work on that competitive part of me........and it is working too! How could this be????? Two days ago, I found myself in trouble. Real hunger hit me and I was not prepared......and I felt I had failed. I ate too much because my body felt it was going to explode out of my skin. I was in tears mad at myself for failing. All I could see was that I had failed again. In steps another angel that God has given me for this process........she is my Nurse and her name is Susan. Our time to talk fell right as I was in Kroger buying food for dinner. Through tears I told her of my failure and you know what, she did not see me as a failure. I told her that even though I failed, I had worked hard to fail on healthier food. I had eaten a lower fat humus and organic healthier corn chips with sprouted amaranth, chia and something else.......plain yogurt with blueberries and almonds. With joy she said, "Lorri, you did not fail! You worked hard to lessen the impact of eating more than you were allotted! You did GREAT!" I have heard things like this over and over from others, but this day.......I finally saw myself as NOT A FAILURE! God has surrounded me with wonderfully encouraging husband, family and friends.......a wonderfully supportive Dr. and Nurse as health coaches.......incredible supplements that have not only given me energy, but for the first time in my life I am wanting to exercise......which also includes 300 swings a day with my kettle bell.......I finally hit 300 swings today! I feel good! I feel strong........and most of all, I feel loved by my Heavenly Father who did not give up on ME! He gave me what I needed in EVERY aspect of this journey! Today..........I finally knew that THIS TIME I WILL SUCCEED! I will be coming back here to the blog to give updates, which by the way.......I have now lost 18 pounds since the wedding.......only 114 to go! Below I am posting the picture of me at the wedding........next May......I am expecting a whole new look! I love you all and thank you for loving and supporting me!
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