Today is the very first day of April.....(I actually started this on April first.....but I am just now ..but this is no April Fools joke! Forgiveness is one of lifes requirements to living a full and fulfilled life! Forgiveness.......well, my friends......it is a choice. Forgiveness is an extremely important choice! In my life I have had many hurts and heartaches. Some were from my own doing, and some were just because of differences with others. There will be many times in our lives that we will be hurt for NO apparent reason by those we love......and sometimes by those we do not even know, who think they know us. I am the kind of person who loves very deeply and I feel rejection and hurt equally as deeply. I would love to tell you that forgiveness is easy and that I have perfected it.......but the truth is, I am still having to work on it and probably will til the day I die. I have an extreme sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair, but as my parents taught me growing up.......God never promised us life would be fair. This is where I struggle the most. When I feel as if an injustice has been done I have a really hard time getting over it. I will think that I have it licked.....and then something else happens and everything floods back in. When I was listening to the radio yesterday, I heard a very interesting point. Only GOD has the ability to forget. Well, that helped explain a lot for me. What I need to work on now is not forgetting, but understanding that I am the one responsible for letting go of the hurt even if it continues on. I am the one who continues to hurt myself by going over the perceived injustice in my mind. No one is perfect, especially me, but I am responsible for me and my actions and only me........they are responsible for their actions.....not me......and we ALL are accountable to GOD! I want to share with you the name of the person I find hardest to forgive.........but before I do I want you to know what her crimes are. This person is so hard on me! She sees me and sees someone who is way to large in stature.........she sees my every flaw........she sees someone who is often judgmental and angry because of circumstances I get myself into..........there are times that she loathes me and can't stand to see me! I see this person and I just want to run..........I want to escape her presence! The probl em is I can't. No matter where I go........she is always there! You see.........I see her ALL the time.........in the mirror! The name of this person is Lorraine Elisabeth Stacy........this person is me. Oh my God my God........please forgive me for not forgiving myself! Oh how many times have I taken responsibility for the actions of others and blamed myself as if I had caused them to do what they have done! I want to give you an example of one such incident that haunted me for so many years.
When Chelsea was dealing with anorexia, I felt like it was all my fault. Whether it was spoken or unspoken, it was obvious that my size had a lot to do with it. After all, my size was what she was afraid of happening to her. I took on this blame.......I hated myself because I was the reason my daughter was dying. In reality though.......it was not my fault. When everything started with Chelsea, it started with OCD.......not anorexia. Anorexia is what her OCD morphed into since she found it was something she could control and in that control, many of the night and daymares she was having.......disappeared. I had to remember this and know that even though my size was something she did not want to get to.......it was not because of me that it started. It took me a couple of years to realize this and to forgive myself for what I felt I was responsible for. This may not make much sense to those who were not there during the process.........but to me......it has been a long journey to realizing I can only be responsible for my and my actions. You see, Satan wants all of us to feel defeated........feel like a failure......he wants to steal our lives from us, kill us, and destroy us! BUT GOD!!!!!! God has transformed me in many, many ways! He has transformed Chelsea in amazing ways! Had it not been for Mercy Ministries, I am not sure how long it would have taken us to learn this valuable lesson! Now I have forgiven myself and I am trying so hard to forgive others as well. Forgiveness is KEY! The Bible is very clear that if we cannot forgive, then God cannot forgive us! That is sobering!
Again, just so we are clear........forgiveness is an action and it is not an option! The forgiveness you need to give, may be something you need to give to someone else.....or it may be that you must first forgive yourself! I implore you to let go of those things that hold you back from Gods perfect Will! Seek Gods face and He will help you do what you need to do!
If you have any question.......please let me know! If you need to find Mercy Ministries to help get your life on track.....I will do all I can to help you get all of the information you need! May God bless you all, and please know........Forgiveness may be something you need to practice weekly, daily, hourly or even minute by minute.......BUT GOD.......can help you find what you need to find......when you need to find it!
When Chelsea was dealing with anorexia, I felt like it was all my fault. Whether it was spoken or unspoken, it was obvious that my size had a lot to do with it. After all, my size was what she was afraid of happening to her. I took on this blame.......I hated myself because I was the reason my daughter was dying. In reality though.......it was not my fault. When everything started with Chelsea, it started with OCD.......not anorexia. Anorexia is what her OCD morphed into since she found it was something she could control and in that control, many of the night and daymares she was having.......disappeared. I had to remember this and know that even though my size was something she did not want to get to.......it was not because of me that it started. It took me a couple of years to realize this and to forgive myself for what I felt I was responsible for. This may not make much sense to those who were not there during the process.........but to me......it has been a long journey to realizing I can only be responsible for my and my actions. You see, Satan wants all of us to feel defeated........feel like a failure......he wants to steal our lives from us, kill us, and destroy us! BUT GOD!!!!!! God has transformed me in many, many ways! He has transformed Chelsea in amazing ways! Had it not been for Mercy Ministries, I am not sure how long it would have taken us to learn this valuable lesson! Now I have forgiven myself and I am trying so hard to forgive others as well. Forgiveness is KEY! The Bible is very clear that if we cannot forgive, then God cannot forgive us! That is sobering!
Again, just so we are clear........forgiveness is an action and it is not an option! The forgiveness you need to give, may be something you need to give to someone else.....or it may be that you must first forgive yourself! I implore you to let go of those things that hold you back from Gods perfect Will! Seek Gods face and He will help you do what you need to do!
If you have any question.......please let me know! If you need to find Mercy Ministries to help get your life on track.....I will do all I can to help you get all of the information you need! May God bless you all, and please know........Forgiveness may be something you need to practice weekly, daily, hourly or even minute by minute.......BUT GOD.......can help you find what you need to find......when you need to find it!
May God bless you all with the life changing attitude of forgiveness!!!!!
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