Today's testimony is so very dear to my heart! In fall of 2011, Against the Downpour won a spot to play in Unity Fest in Pensacola, FL. This quickly became one of the greatest blessings in soooooo many ways. As usual, SHINE was one of the songs we performed that day. Chelsea was there and she gave her testimony before the song.....and it was powerful! I then went up on stage and began to sing with the boys. As I was singing, my eyes locked with one girl in the front row and I knew........God knew! Now keep in mind......there were probably 20-30 people on the first row....God makes no mistakes! As I finished singing......I could not get down there fast enough. I ran down the stage and went straight to her. She was with several of her friends and I did not want to completely single her out, so I asked her and her friends if I could give them a hug......and of course they said yes. As I hugged her I simply told her that God knew. If memory serves me right....I did not say a whole lot more. A bit of time went by and she and her friends came to our tent. We stepped to the side and she looked at me and asked how I knew.....I told her that it was because God told me. We talked a bit and she let me know that her friends did not even know so she could not talk about it right then........keep in mind, we had not really talked about what God knew, but somehow we both knew. When I got home from the concert, I had an email waiting for me from Katelin! She was blown away that God had placed her so deeply in my heart and that He had showed me things. She then proceeded to tell me what was going on and that she thought she had it hidden from the world! Not even her closest friends knew to what extent she had a problem! Over the next year, Katelin and I kept in touch and she shared her heart and I tried to encourage her and help her when I could. The relationship we developed was so precious to me and in the end......it encouraged me more than she will ever know! As you read her testimony, know that this came from a pure and beautiful heart that was hurting and broken. I chose the picture of the Dove above because it symbolizes peace and freedom. If you look at the pic, the dove has a beautiful SHINE.........and that is what Katelin does now......she surely SHINES!
(For privacy purposes......I have left it up to Katelin whether to tag herself in this or not......just know, she is an incredibly beautiful young woman....both inside and out!!!!!)
01/03/2013: Katelin
I had started dealing with depression at around 12years old caused from multiple incidents that had occurred and were happening at the time. At age 14, as a way of releasing my inner emotions, and from the feeling of feeling fat, I decided to make myself throw up. I immediately felt shame and swore I would never do it again, however, I did it again the very next day, and before I knew it, I was dealing with bulimia nervosa. Every day, everything I did, everything I thought, focused on my eating disorder. What would I eat today? Would I eat today? How much? Can I throw it up? Will I get caught? Within a couple months, the weight of dealing with now both depression and bulimia resulted in me cutting myself. First, just little scratch marks, but as time went by, they got deeper. I had tried to get help, but nothing seemed to work. I knew I had a problem, yet I refused to actually do anything about it, I made up excuses like, "I'll try harder tomorrow." or "it's really not that big of a deal." For 19 months I threw up what I ate, I cut myself, I told myself I was fat and worthless, and that God could never use someone like me. At first I was striving for perfection, I wanted so badly to have that perfect figure, the ones you see on magazines, to be noticed, but by the end of it, I just wanted out. I tried to stay strong, to press through it, but it was hard and every day I was going lower, losing more hope every day. I can't even say how many times I cried out to God yet felt like He wasn't listening or didn't care. During all this, I moved, leaving all my friends behind, I felt even more alone than before. I couldn't take it much longer.. At the end of May 2012, I was invited to a bon fire with a group of kids. They told me to bring something that was holding me back from God and something inside of me that I can't miss this, that even though I don't know anyone going, I'm going.
That night, as I threw my things into the fire, and watched them burn, I surrendered to God, not just a little of me, all of me. I realized that I couldn't go any longer without Him, and that I'll follow Him if He just leads the way. That night, He broke my chains, He set me free. I no longer deal with depression, bulimia or self-harm. Praise God!!! I have been clean for about 4 months now. I can't even express my gratitude towards the Lord for His mercy and love towards me. Since this night, I have grown tremendously in my relationship with God and continue to grow daily. Also, I have been PHYSICALLY HEALED by Jesus, my digestive system was all kinds out of whack and my pastor said a prayer, and no more problems! I give praise to God for bringing me out of darkness and continuing to shed His light on my life and working through me to reach others. I thank Him for not giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself.
(For privacy purposes......I have left it up to Katelin whether to tag herself in this or not......just know, she is an incredibly beautiful young woman....both inside and out!!!!!)
01/03/2013: Katelin
I had started dealing with depression at around 12years old caused from multiple incidents that had occurred and were happening at the time. At age 14, as a way of releasing my inner emotions, and from the feeling of feeling fat, I decided to make myself throw up. I immediately felt shame and swore I would never do it again, however, I did it again the very next day, and before I knew it, I was dealing with bulimia nervosa. Every day, everything I did, everything I thought, focused on my eating disorder. What would I eat today? Would I eat today? How much? Can I throw it up? Will I get caught? Within a couple months, the weight of dealing with now both depression and bulimia resulted in me cutting myself. First, just little scratch marks, but as time went by, they got deeper. I had tried to get help, but nothing seemed to work. I knew I had a problem, yet I refused to actually do anything about it, I made up excuses like, "I'll try harder tomorrow." or "it's really not that big of a deal." For 19 months I threw up what I ate, I cut myself, I told myself I was fat and worthless, and that God could never use someone like me. At first I was striving for perfection, I wanted so badly to have that perfect figure, the ones you see on magazines, to be noticed, but by the end of it, I just wanted out. I tried to stay strong, to press through it, but it was hard and every day I was going lower, losing more hope every day. I can't even say how many times I cried out to God yet felt like He wasn't listening or didn't care. During all this, I moved, leaving all my friends behind, I felt even more alone than before. I couldn't take it much longer.. At the end of May 2012, I was invited to a bon fire with a group of kids. They told me to bring something that was holding me back from God and something inside of me that I can't miss this, that even though I don't know anyone going, I'm going.
That night, as I threw my things into the fire, and watched them burn, I surrendered to God, not just a little of me, all of me. I realized that I couldn't go any longer without Him, and that I'll follow Him if He just leads the way. That night, He broke my chains, He set me free. I no longer deal with depression, bulimia or self-harm. Praise God!!! I have been clean for about 4 months now. I can't even express my gratitude towards the Lord for His mercy and love towards me. Since this night, I have grown tremendously in my relationship with God and continue to grow daily. Also, I have been PHYSICALLY HEALED by Jesus, my digestive system was all kinds out of whack and my pastor said a prayer, and no more problems! I give praise to God for bringing me out of darkness and continuing to shed His light on my life and working through me to reach others. I thank Him for not giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself.
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