One of the things I love to do in life is to write. I am not a "WRITER" per say, but I love to share my heart. One of the reasons I have not written in a while is that there is so much going on in my life. Some of it is good, some sad, some that has left me reeling.......and some that is absolutely incredible. God has been working deeply in my heart and my mind as well. Right now I am in a really funky stage of life. I am one who likes to know where I am going and what I need to do so that I can do the best I can. These days I have felt like I do not fit in anywhere. With the band no longer being together I feel as if I have a huge hole where that joy used to be. I have my hospice patients and that is a huge source of joy, but on a limited level since I cannot go very often. Chelsea is graduating next week and I am so very proud! I used to go visit her and her fellow students.....so now that is going to end for the most part too. I miss my friends from Sugar Creek Baptist Church so much! I miss the hugs and the laughter! I also love First Baptist Loganville where God moved us back to! Now though, I am struggling to find where I fit in. I miss Honduras more than words could ever adequately convey, but I soooooo look forward to Rene coming to visit us for Chelseas wedding! (Please help us keep praying that God will get what we need to get him here!) We have issues going on in our lives right now that I cannot comprehend......I don't know how things got to where they are and I have no idea how to fix them. Then, on top of it all.......I am getting closer to 50 and lets just suffice it to say that I am changing and sometimes my emotions get a bit out of control. With all of this going on, I have lacked inspiration and even a desire to write. I have been in a bit of a hole filled with emotions swirling violently around, sometimes leaving me feeling dizzy and some days....a bit scared. Sleep has been little and stress has been high. On a bright note, I have a job......that I LOVE......I have family.....that I LOVE (especially my husband, children and grandchildren)......I have friends......that I LOVE, I have a church......that I LOVE......I have a Heavenly Father.....that I LOVE! All of this craziness I am writing is an attempt to understand myself......and to ask my friends and family to pray for me and for our family. The saying in the picture above really struck a chord in my heart. I pray that God will edit me......and give me a heart that loves unconditionally! I pray that He will give me ears to listen intently and deeply and that I will only speak if HE has something He wants them to hear! I also pray that God will take my hands and use them to give of myself out of HIS love and not out of my desire. I pray that anything and everything I do or say will be for HIM and not for me! I am sorry if this post seems strange, after all.......I may be the only person who ever feels this way, but if not.....you are not alone! The one thing I want everyone to understand, I am so THANKFUL FOR MY LIFE! I am so THANKFUL that Jesus loves me and that HE DIED that I might live with Him FOREVER! I AM..........THANKFUL!
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